redirection

I was emailing a friend and was saying that our move to Tallahassee was good, but that it also felt different. Life has changed — at first not by choice, but by location and opportunity (being in a new city largely without close friends or commitments AND with a newborn baby). But with that shift, that change I think I allowed myself to consider the possibility of a fundamental shift in looking at life, about the future.

A big part of it is A coming along. And the rest of it is, as with everything, a work-in-progress and an exercise in balance and understanding. But this from zenhabits crystalizes some of the key shift:

It might seem smart and productive to not let a single minute go to waste (they’re precious, after all), but let’s take a step back to look at the big picture.

Is this what our lives are to be? A non-stop stream of productive tasks? A life-long work day? A computer program optimized for productivity and efficiency? A cog in a machine?

What about joy? What about the sensory pleasure of lying in the grass with the sun shining on our closed eyes? What about the beauty of a nap while on the train? How about reading a novel for the sheer exhilaration of it, not to better yourself? What about spending time with someone for the love of being with someone, of making a genuine human connection that is unencumbered by productive purpose, unburdened by goals.

What about freedom? Freedom from being tied to a job, from having to improve yourself every single minute, from the dreariness of neverending work?

These are things I’ve not come to terms with, but the thinking of them and the being present with the thoughts allows for a change of arc. A degree? 45? 180? The amount isn’t determined fully yet. But it is changed. That I know.